When I left for college I had no idea how big of an impact
it would have on me. I was leaving a city were over %80 of the population was African-American
and moving to a town with less than %1.
I was in for the culture shock of my life.
Quick Stats Check: Hazelton’s campus had about 1200 students at the time. 12 of
those students including myself we’re African American.
At this point in my life… I only had African-American
friends. I wasn’t opposed to having other races as friends...I just wasn’t
exposed to other people.
My first few months in Hazelton were terrible; I didn’t feel
like I belonged. I was home sick and wanted something familiar so bad.
When you go to the mall and you’re the only one that looks
like you…it takes a toll. When you go out to eat and feel like everyone’s
staring at you…it takes a toll.
When you walk around and old ladies move their purses to the
other side as they pass you…it takes a toll.
I was literally the only African-American in every class I
took at Hazelton...except African-American Studies of course...
I felt like I had to study harder and get better the grade…
just because I was black ….the pressure to perform was intense.
When I left Richmond I spoke two languages… one was the
slang I used around friends (what some people annoyingly call talking “black”) and
the other was standard American English, which was the only language permitted
by my mother.
Side Note: I used to get angry when she corrected my speech
…but I can’t thank her enough now for doing so!
With that said…
In class when answering questions…I would be very careful of
my diction and word choices. I didn’t want to seem ignorant if a slang word slipped
out...I was very afraid of sounding too “black”.
Imagine for just a moment what it would feel like to
scrutinize every single word that left your mouth.
Now here’s the kicker…
On my first trip back to Richmond… I was soooo excited.
Finally back home…with friends and my family.
Strangely, I felt uncomfortable walking around my own city.
I felt like an outsider…like I didn’t belong …How was that even possible?
“George you sound white”- I heard that at least 50 times. I didn’t even understand what it meant…I
sound white?
Now I didn’t belong anywhere… I hated Hazelton...because I
was treated like an alien…and now I was an outcast in my own city.
I handled both situations the best way I knew how… I stopped
caring what people thought.
The lesson that I learned was to be comfortable with who you are, do the best that you can do, be honest, be respectful of everyone and work hard. (still trying to follow my own advice)
Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind.” - good old dr. seuss.
love your blogs. miss ya. must get out to see you asap.
Posted by: A Scalfani | 07/31/2010 at 12:16 AM